Welcome to the reality show, "Football Fashion Week."Admit it or not, fans, clothes make the man...or the team. The look of your favorite team really matters. Uniforms matter. Colors matter. The last thing you want is to be embarrassed by football uniforms. Some fans must be hiding in shame right now.
No doubt practicing for the NCAA-dictated ban on all-blue uniforms on its all-blue field, Boise State was dressed in all white in the neutral-site Georgia Dome, while continuing to avoid all sense of symmetry in helmet designs. I'll give them a grade of A-. The all-white duds helped Boise State assume its on-going role of "good guys" adopted by millions of BCS haters. Plus, the gigantic horse head on one side of the helmet allowed TV viewers to understand they were looking at the Broncos. Not so their Bulldog opponents.
To the benefit--and I use that term advisedly--of the Georgia Bulldogs, the uniform designers at Nike must have watched lots of episodes of Power Ranger TV shows and an endless loop of the 1975 sci-fi film "Rollerball" when standing at the drawing board, red and black markers in hand. Georgia's helmets were silver and set an all-time record for width of center stripe, which turned out red and a garish six inches across. The jerseys were a traditional red with small black numerals. For crying out loud, jersey numbers are supposed to stand in stark contrast to the base color so that both fans in the stands and TV viewers can have some sense of who is doing what. In case anyone has noticed, football players tend to get scattered all over the field as a play develops. Watching on TV, I had no idea what Bulldog was doing what; all I know is that they were doing it poorly. And what was with the back-of-jersey nameplates all spelling out "GEORGIA?" Traditionally (apparently an evil concept in Nike's world), the few schools that choose to include university names have stitched them across the front of the jersey. There was no available space on the Georgia shirt fronts, a spot taken by Nike's bomber squadron chevrons that first appeared on Oregon's oddball look a few years ago. Georgia's grade is an F. A week later the Dawgs went back to a traditional look.
Maryland hosted the Miami Hurricanes at the end of Week 1 and, under the design direction of the nearby UnderArmor company, set a new standard of bizarre. The Terrapins wore helmets that took symmetry and threw it under the bus: the right side of the plastic globe was ablaze with Harlequin checkers of yellow gold and black, while the left side depicted white and red crosses. Was this some commentary on the functions of the left and right sides of the human brain?
As outlandish as the quad-hued Terps appeared, there at least was historical inspiration in UnderArmor's touch. The state flag of Maryland sports black and gold checkers and red and white crosses. It is important to note the school lists all four colors as official and has often used all four on a uniform at once. For example, the 1953 national champion Terps employed red jerseys with white numerals and white helmets with a centered yellow-gold stripe, flanked by a pair of black stripes.
Maryland's 2011 fashion took some getting used to, but I'd give an incomplete B+ grade, knowing there is more to come from UnderArmor this year which could easily change the mark.
In week 2 of the season, Notre Dame and Michigan celebrated the first-ever night game at mammoth Michigan Stadium by donning throwback uniforms. Both looked pretty natty. Personally I like the occasional use of Kelly green by the Fighting Irish. While I can understand the Wolverines wishing to harken back to the halcyon '30s-'40s under Hall of Fame coach Fritz Crisler, why did Notre Dame wish to resemble losing coach Joe Kuharich's 1960 outfit that delivered a disastrous 2-8 record despite a decent amount of future pro talent?
Today's boisterous Fighting Irish coach Brian Kelly was decked out in a sharp shade of green that would bring pride to his family heritage. But, the shamrock on a white visor made the poor guy appear to have celebrated St. Patrick's Day by wandering into a saloon on Chicago's Rush Street. Erin Go Bragh, Coach! I wish more coaches would take a page from the fashion playbook of Miami's Al Golden. For Kelly, a white shirt (like Golden's) and green tie might have lent enough class to help the Irish hold off Michigan's last moment winning rally. Or perhaps a bit better pass coverage might have done the trick.
What next? College football is renowned for follow-the-leader. All it would take is for one 5-star quarterback recruit to say, "I chose Maryland because of the really cool helmets!" to send every collegiate athletic director to seek designs more wild than the last. Such is college football these days where impressionable 17-year-olds make many of the decisions. Is Lady Gaga paying attention? There a future riches for you, Lady G.
Can we see ahead--long after Joe Paterno is gone--when notoriously conservative Penn State abandons its traditionally simple blue and white for the school's original colors of black and pink? Yes, it was once the Penn State Nittany Lions in black and pink! I can envision helmets in 2027 in a pink left half with a Paterno profile in black, and a black right side with a lion head logo in pink.
Lord, I hope not. For the record, Penn State slightly dulled down its "unies" this year by removing white collars and sleeve stripes from the contrasting blue jerseys. Good move, sort of.
--Bob Boyles
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